I remember I read the beginning prologue by Paulo Coelho in Eleven Minutes, where he met a guy who said to him that his books made him dream. Agree to that. Well...

It's been years since high school where I first read Paulo Coelho books. The first one was The Alchemist. Yes, the book gave more sort of hope in my despair and a motivation to find joy in reading (more of his) books. At the time, as a young bookworm, I felt gaining more peace and wisdom as I read Coelho's writings. Anyhow, with the current situation I'm having lately, those pledge in my heart fell off.


I'm back to be... another stressed out estranged dark person, trying to say hi to people with positive energy yet can't help with my own sadness.

No books have made me feel better for a long term. All has been short term.

When I heard that Paulo Coelho would publish another book, I was like... umm, okay. His latest works, The Aleph and Adultery were just ok. I loved them. But it's just ok. Maybe I wasn't just in the mood for such stories. It might another phase as a bookworm. Dark clouds have controlled all over me. Fine. Could be, no?

The situation changed when I knew the book is about Mata Hari. The alleged spy from the World War I. How cool, I thought.

So, when there was a pre-order from Periplus, I surely went for it! Again, every pre-order I make with Periplus, it makes me feel awesome. 

Then I felt the sparks of long-lost excitement just like when I had in high school years, my first years with Paulo Coelho's books. I really can't describe how it was like, but it becomes a good motivation for me to get things done fast and right so I can have special time with it.

After reading about Mata Hari on the internet, I was hoping to get something more on The Spy. Certainly, her life as an Erotic Dancer that became an international sensation for art and visual pleasure wasn't ordinary. Even more, she was executed... because she was considered a spy.

Margaretha Zelle was born a Dutch. She married after finding an ad about a Dutch soldier stationed in Indonesia (Dutch East Indies) looking for a wife which turned out made by her former husband's colleagues. According to the book, she was molested by her school principal just like many of her classmates. Due to this misfortune, her husband became violent towards her.

This is where I remember Jesse Eisenberg's line in Cafe Society, life is a comedy, written by a sadistic comedy writer. 

After giving giving birth to two children that one didn't survive, she witnessed a wife of another soldier who was captivated by her, committed suicide. She thought people might think if she killed that woman or whatsoever. The next day, she insisted to go back to Netherlands.

Once she got back with all the family drama, she decided to escape and create a new self. Named her self Mata Hari, without nothing, crossing the borders to France. Then, she did everything she could to survive---impress French elites with her made-up exotic and erotic Asian dance.

The fame didn't last long in glory as critics started to give negative reviews after piles of positives thrown to her once in the beginning of her debut. Imitators were following her steps and taking over her spotlight. Well, c'est la vie, huh? So, things were getting harder, although she survived by being a free woman... a mistress of high-rank government and army people.

It was almost all smooth for her, before the war burst out and the proposition came to her for being a spy for France and Germany. Yes, both.

What I learned from the book is that Mata Hari is so much different from the writings I found on the internet. Paulo Coelho wrote her as a victim turned a survivor, yet still naive and clueless. Well, she was indeed a charmer and had the capability to manipulate men. It's just she didn't learn her lesson.

Because all connections she made went nothing when she was caught in deep shit.

Her country, The Netherlands, preferred to stay neutral during the WW I. Ignoring their citizen's life who was at stake. Somehow, it was pretty unlucky, another unlucky fate she had, as she was actually trapped by her own spy game---a game where she never played her role as a spy!

I love how Paulo Coelho brought Margaretha Zelle's version of more humane, less cocky and simply unfortunate person who tried her best to fight for freedom (as a woman, as a human being). But some of the facts were different from the news you can find on the internet. However, I was expecting more deep research to be written here, which now after reading the book doesn't give me anything 'wow' moment, but confusions: which one is real?

Plus, I didn't find anything I've read before (from the internet) in the book, or maybe it's just rumour.

At the first pages, it opened by the day of her execution. The aging Mata Hari who refused to wear blindfold while facing her death given by the firing squads. It tricked me to think she was a Great kind of character.

Yes she was, but not that 'Great'. But I agree, she's really iconic, I can tell.

Even so, I know that Paulo Coelho dig more into her feminism power of becoming her own true self, by gaining control of her life after a messed up marriage.

But still, reading The Spy has very much different take out, unlike when I read The Alchemist or Veronica Decides to Die long time ago. This is just... plain. Maybe I have read so much about Mata Hari before I skipped these pages of The Spy. Maybe I was over-exposed of how media portrayed this woman as a failed and arrogant spy.

I can't lie that I was actually expecting her story when she was in Indonesia. Turned out, it was a crazy brief part of her life, but not much to tell despite she actually learned a lot of things I never thought foreigners might learn from Indonesians.

Well, if you haven't heard about Mata Hari, you might be a little surprised and wow-ed by her fight for life. It's a bit drama twisted plot, but still enjoyable, page-turner, and easy-reading.

Here comes the end of the year...

...where it's time for us to be nice (and naughty, too, it's okay) and make a wishlist for Secret Santa with BBI fellows.

It is hard to tell you how much I love 1984 by George Orwell. It has been one of my top list recommended books I will share to fellow bookworms. I'm not solely into dystopian even though I'm feeling like living in one.

On the other hand, I love Kristen Stewart's movies (Twilight series are my least favorable, though). I heard about her upcoming film, 'Equals' would be something like 1984. Of course, I wouldn't miss it!

A friend came up with sudden notice, luckily, work was... oookay, I can tell. So a few days ago, the film started occupying my head, with the song of 'The Feeling' by Justin Bieber and Halsey also stuck in my head for days and I kept singing and singing in heart.

So, what about it?
Aside that I found Nicholas Hoult was so damn cute, I found something that has been missing for so long---the feeling, itself.

[Spoiler alert, guys]

Silas (Nicholas Hoult) is an illustrator at Atmos, set in an unknown country affected by war in previous years. At first, we will be dragged into his boring life for quite long moment. Flat yet I think the director is trying to adjust our mind into the feel of dystopian life, when everything is controlled (by The Collective) and the citizen has nothing to do but work, eat and solve same old high tech puzzles every night before bed.

This romance science fiction movie brings room models in Ikea catalogue into life. Space effective and everyone dresses in one tone with same models every day. Yeah, life can be easy this way, though.

Here.... emotion, touches, love are forbidden. The citizen work and live their lives like a machine. They call those things are symptoms of an epidemic called 'Switched On Syndrome' or simply, SOS. The Collective, the leaders, are informing about the disease quite well enough, like on train and big screen in public. It is progressing from Stage 1 to Stage 4, where the person contracted with last stage of SOS will be taken to Defective Emotion Neuropathy facility, or the DEN.

As every character has empty mind and heart, we hear and feel silence from scene to scene. When Silas finally realizes that he is attracted to Nia (Kristen Stewart), you'll start to hear a melody---a plain yet stronger music score which plays a meaningful role in flat depiction... and sparks of colors between them.

After battling for what he has for Nia, he knows that Nia is giving him a clue to follow her into the bathroom where they start to explore each other, introducing themselves with feelings that caused by touches and energy from their emotional encounter. There, both of them develop deeper and complicated feelings for each other---getting into a phase called 'love' turning into the same black shadow inside the bathroom cubicle, two same equal human beings fight for their passion. To obtain this small freedom, they make effort every afterwork time to meet and talk, accepting that the two are SOS positive and embracing it.

One night, they are caught by the manager and decide to go separate ways to avoid death in DEN. Silas moves away from Atmos and gets another job. But Nia cannot take it lightly as she's drown lost and has difficulty to do her job. Then, she just appeared in Silas' apartment where they finally back together again.

When they become 'hiders' for hiding their love life, it was gotten into me, something that we've been lost or taken for granted---energy, connection and chemistry which were brought nicely in the scene. Those things make Silas and Nia much different than the other empty (read: dead soul) citizens (and me). At this point, I was reminded of what makes us human... the feeling inside us that we spark to people around us... the most basic element that makes us (feel) alive.

And yes, we are reminded that we are human, no matter what, created as a social creature where we'd always be in need of someone else. But far more than that, it is how far those feelings can take you and change you, bring you forward.

In this dystopian film, the love sparks between the two are marked by the colorful spectrum and loud pop rock sounds that vibrate the whole unspoken aspects that are considered forbidden in that sort of world. As if saying, those humane elements are actually simple yet very meaningful.

One day, The Collective announced that the cure which was said 'just around the corner' has finally been found. Of course, Nia and Silas don't want to recover. It is not death they are scared the most... but living without each other and the feeling are becoming the most fearful. The love that fills one's soul can fight against the misery of emptiness.

Equals the Movie takes me back to think of what makes a human human. Cracking down all the elements and put a question, "when we lost our capability to feel, would memory help us to remember and to regain what has been missing?"

The ending is predictable though, with a touch of Romeo-and-Juliet-alike with a twist of hope. Both suffer and try their best to maintain their future. Dragging me into a deeper thought that love MIGHT deserve a second try if it's equal.

I went home, energized and super happy... touched by the film. As it's been a while I'm turning into someone different, and that evening I was reminded of what I need to retrieve in me in order to feel alive in a better way.

Equals makes more futuristic 1984 world more real. Something that we all need to be worry about. As things are seemed to be obvious that we're heading there. Horribly, we're turning worse than we are now. Working everyday without knowing what it is for... no purpose, no soul. Our rights to be simply human is lost and taken from us. It's just complicated.

Well, if you haven't watched the film, here's the trailer. Get the DVD if you wish =) Coz I want to get one for myself.

I know the election is driving us crazy. We have passed the US Presidential Election, despite people are intrigued by the results. 

Yet, what is happening to us now? Changes we expect might (not) come. Some bad news will keep coming, too. It's predictably unpredicted. Post-Trump Speech, the stock is rising again after giving us a surprise shock. The rally goes on. As for me, my family is 'apart'.

But I'm telling you, like people always said about politics, 'poly and ticks'. You'll never win no matter who's winning. This is what most people are failed to see and to accept. Now, in Jakarta, only a few months to go for the governor election. While US have to deal with white or non-white differences, in this city, we deal not only with race, but also religion, as political game target.

Again, we are all apart. We're divided into different streams, standing up for people we believe are standing for us.

In Jakarta, now... even highly educated people lose their mind. Bashing their less favorable candidates with hatred and not-so educated approach and reactions---which, to me, is magnifying the truth that educated people in Indonesia doesn't show whether people have manner and dignity, and most importantly, conscience and logic. If I can be greedy, I shall add 'wisdom' to the previous sentence.

As I always believe, religions makes us lose logics. But, let's learn from the two candidates who have more world spotlight for the election. 

What went wrong with Hillary?
I always think she's more capable in 'making America great again'. She has the experience and vision. And, I'm a democrat. I believe in gender equality and pro choice in Abortion Rights. I learned a lot from her, from her books.

Yet, on the other side, I do agree with Trump---which makes me accepting bitter reactions from the people who don't really get what is the real deal the world is enduring. First, I agree US should be more strict on immigrants. Why? ILLEGAL immigrants aren't welcome anywhere, why would Americans welcome them in US? 

I know that many of those illegal immigrants might have harsh trouble in their home countries, but I'm sure there must be somewhere else for them to stay.... and manage their papers legally. US is facing weaker economy state. They have lost jobs, manufacturing jobs are gone... What kind of better life they can give to those asylum seekers? It's just going to make things worse for everyone. 

What about immigrants who are illegal and being criminal? I think it is obvious why Trump needs to 'delete' those kind of trash for the sake of the country. 

Sadly, I have to admit that I really dislike him for being misogynistic (maybe) due to some scandals emerged during the campaign. I hate that he can't control his language while speaking to woman or when speaking about woman. Such disrespectful.

I do understand, that this is a very difficult situation for Americans to choose whom to vote.
If, there isn't any media propaganda, which I am disappointed about from Hillary's side.

You see the media is being pro-Hillary. That's ok, though. But, not giving enough facts on Trump's vision? That's not ok.

Somehow, I can't imagine how the life in US is like, right now. Is it true that they're going back? Holding conservative christian's belief? Pro Life and anti-gender equality and anti-LGBTIQ? Why does it sound like life people have in Jakarta---like living in a cave?

Such attitude is so irrelevant, selfish, and disrespecting towards women and LGBTIQ.

Making America to be Pro Life again...well, if you hold on to religions too much, you'll forget how actually God wants you to. To use your brain and be wise. 

We cannot let the government to rule over your body. Let say, if you see two pregnant women without husbands, it doesn't mean their lives and miseries are completely the same so you can apply one solution 'Pro Life' to be the answer for all.

By being Pro Choice, you'r communicating that society should respect women as equal individuals like men who can be independent and responsible for their life choices. That's what I call as respect. Society needs to be supportive in everyone's distinguished and particular conditions for them to make wise choices which might impact the society in bigger picture itself.

Once again, I learned from Hillary.

"This is one of the worst possible choices that any woman and her family has to make. And I do not believe the government should be making it. You know, I've had the great honor of traveling across the world on behalf of our country. I've been to countries where governments either forced women to have abortions like they used to do in China or forced women to bear children like they used to do in Romania. And I can tell you the government has no business in the decisions that women make with their families in accordance with their faith, with medical advice, and I will stand up for that right." - Hillary Clinton on Abortion Rights, at Presidential Debate.

Those three things are every important for me, a feminist, to fight for. I read Living History by Hillary Clinton years ago (when I was in college). From the book, I learned, "Too many women in too many countries speak the same language, of silence..."

There, it's tough to choose. US Presidential Battle in 2016 has shown us really well... we're hardly winning in politics. Even though we can still expect good things coming up in US (I always hope 'we'll always have America' still possible), there are things we need to fight for. Again, over and over. 

I think, we're in the point where everything is still so biased. In Jakarta, religions close people's eyes and mind. Religions and races are the effective political vehicle in Indonesia. And that's what happening to us now. What's happening? It's just that we don't learn.

Rally against Trump is on. Minority victim numbers are adding up. What happens therr affect how scared Indonesian majority are...and turning it back to minorities here, in a way, making it easy for politics to drive them.

So who's gonna win? The game itself.

Hey all! I just got home from cinema, watching Snowden the Movie.

I was so impulsive. Calling out a friend to meet up for dinner and... bought the tickets when I landed. Crazy. Just can't wait to watch it. Searched all the closest XXI with perfect schedule.

20.45, it was. So be it!




Then, I simply realized that there are some movies made from great books you might have read already.

Well, I'm very bad in judging whether a film do justice to the book or not.
But if you're thinking for a movie day or day out. Maybe you can spend with one or two of these movies on the list.

It's after Me Before You movie, and now you got these!


---> THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN (Watched | 3.5 stars of 5)



For Gillian Flynn fans, you might like the book. It's thrilling and a real page-turner. I mean, it's narrating women's drama life but with a taste of danger.

You like it? Yeah, we got the movie. I've always loved Emily Blunt since I saw her in Devil Wears Prada and Salmon Fishing in Yemen. In The Huntsman: Winter's War, she's okay but this one you'll see more convincing acting than that one. *grin*


---> SNOWDEN (Watched | 4 stars of 5)

Despite the reviews saying that the director Oliver Stone 'is playing safe', this movie makes me leave home on a lazy Saturday. I usually won't ever think to leave my bedroom in raining 4pm.

But, I did!

I'm a big fan of 1984 from George Orwell. That book always makes me into international security thing, which I took online course on Terrorism Studies right now (still trying to pass the class), and anything in between. Well, I just can't understand, how could he be so visionary about all this stuff that is happening today.

*You might want to check this link from the Guardian, too.

News coverage on Snowden intrigued me years ago. Then, books about them start to be published: The Snowden Files written by Luke Harding and Anatoly Kucherena's Time of the Octopus. This year, we're about to see the combination of the two, interpreted into a movie, Snowden.

I have seen the film and I think... it's not disappointing. Joseph Gordon Levitt still brings out my sympathy as he delivers Snowden's sincerity in the whole film. The good thing is.. the plot is easy to follow for a better understanding of what the complicated sh*t is happening.





---> MISS PEREGRINE'S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN (Will watch soon)



Calling out fantasy lovers!
I remember seeing the book cover for the first time. I was in the middle of photoshoot when the model I was working with reading this book. She strongly recommended me this. Funny, I rarely found a model who's reading in my fashion magazine experience. Don't get me wrong, it's just not my luck to meet fellow bookworms so often in my job.

Well, with the original cover... no matter how the story is intriguing, I never thought that this one would be made into movie. Even Tim Burton as the director. Alice in Wonderland mix-match with 'Tim Burton's gloomy and darkness' style.

You can see these children in the book (and movie) as mutants as in X-Men but in peculiar way. Yeah, X-Men with Sucker Punch fantasies (only it's teen friendly).

...and it reminds me of Lemony Snicket's Series of an Unfortunate Events, as well.
---> INFERNO (Will watch next Saturday and update)


Yeap, I guess people who are going to see this movie are whether they're Dan Brown fans, and the ones who have watched the previous movies and still hoping.

The story is still engaging like the other books of Dan Brown. Yet, can't tell you how the movie interpretation will turn out. As the second one was disappointing, in my humble opinion.

Anyway, the author has his big fanbase and I'm going to join the special screening with the fan group before public can even watch in regular screening (if nothing ever is on my way this Saturday).

UPDATE: Yes, it's a kewl movie. Very attention grabbing yet many details missing (or that I missed 'em). Take it easy, don't keep your expectations high.


Enjoy October!

For me, yes! I did come yesterday, It was preview day where everyone with tickets can enter.

Ignore my sleepy eyes! I'm surrounded by 1.5 titles. So happy!

• The staffs are super friendly and book lovers.

to....yeah... cookbooks!