It's whether you're looking for awesome stuffs that are not available in the country or Indonesia doesn't give you good price, or simply because you're expats and need something that hard to find in Indonesia and nobody can hand carry those things for you some time soon... I dedicate this to you!

These past months, I was crazy in love with a red lipstick pump shoes. I never like shopping in the store. Too much temptation! Ha! But, I didn't find any pairs here in Indo. So I thought, ok, not my luck. 

But then I found one pair in Farfetch.com, a UK-based e-commerce that sells many entries from worldwide designer stores. That pair in my size... there was only one left. So you can guess, all that jazz, panic and excited at the same time. Plus, it was in discount! Hooray! When I put it in cart, the delivery cost was flat to $23 using DHL. C'est superbe!

After the drama with all of my debit cards declined and I don't know why until now, I paid through PayPal. And PayPal debited from my account through one of the debit cards Farfetch rejected in the first place. Oh, well... but...

... it's done!

---

This order was my first shopping online from abroad website since I used to lose my package once! I was a bit traumatized yet I felt like I need to give it a try for Farfetch.com.

My bookdepository.com was sent through local postal service, which means in Indonesia, that would be by Pos Indonesia. My bookdepository order was never found. No barcode and nothing I could do to get it from the Pos Indonesia office. Plus, Pos Indonesia is never helpful, so I assume my hope for the book is dead.

After 8 months missing, I decided to go to the biggest post office in Central Jakarta, based on my delivery address I gave to bookdepository.com. Sadly, it was sent away with regular post so there's no barcode. I was sent here and there in the post office, even going to their basement, passing their dark warehouse (even a guy who worked there sort of verbally harassed me) and no one could help me anyway.

Back to 10 years ago, my sister sent me a box of new clothes I bought online. The order went to her house and she repackaged it and sent it to my house. It took 2 months! However, it didn't just arrive like that... even after TWO MONTHS. How it went was that my mom asked our regular postman how package from overseas would arrive to the country then to our house. Thankfully, the postman was a great guy, he asked the details of the package and he searched for it in the his office. He found it!

Turned out, there's a fee we need to pay that made our package stayed in the post office!

Funny, they didn't notify us if our package had arrived and there was certain amount we needed to pay. How the hell could we know? By the help of the postman, it was settled.

So I was worried about this one. Thankfully, Farfetch will ship my shoes through DHL which has much nicer service and super updated tracking page. I felt relieved.

But, there's another thing: the tax!

In Farfetch case, it was told that duties have been included in the price which is only applicable to certain countries. Indonesia... of course, isn't included.

*sigh* I know....

Ok, here's the thing. If you buy online stores abroad to be delivered to Indonesia, there will be tax for you to pay. I googled some sources, if it's under $75 (seen from your invoice), there will be no tax. But above that amount, there will!

The DHL service was fast and the tracking page is super cool. I ordered it on Tuesday, and it's already in Singapore by Friday morning, and Jakarta by noon.




There are tax payer number and luxury product tax appear in the calculation. For simple way, it's multiplied by 29%. Based on her calculation, it was supposed to be 1,6 million something. I don't know what's going on.

When I received the link to pay online, there were another items to pay, included in the total amount, such bank service, etc. I regret I didn't take a screenshot before I paid. Now as I've paid, the page is no longer accessible.

... I just paid to retrieve my heels! Right away!

If you're looking for fashion brands to shop, try reebonz.com. Once I bought a handbag, it was ok. No other tax or additional cost. The downside was the shipping from Singapore takes longer, compared to DHL sending me my heels from Europe.

Consider yourself lucky if there's someone who could hand carry your stuff. For example, you can order online and send to local address and your friend will bring it to you through their luggage. But I always try not to order something heavy and take lots of spaces. I don't want to be a burden.

Or...... you can always looking those jastip people and personal shoppers! They are amazing!

So yeah, that's my experience. Not gonna buy anything online from abroad unless it's so urgent. The government tries to protect the local brands buy setting the tax high for what we buy from overseas. However, I don't think it's the right way to do it. Some local brands here are expensive but low quality. Defending them like that would only make them think like we don't have enough choice but to keep buying low quality products and it makes them not to think of improvising.

I know some good local products, some of them are owned by my friends. But maybe, in return, I would definitely more picky in buying local products now. Thanks, system and government!

Another moral of the story: try international courier service like DHL and such.

(Will put keypoints in highlight)

paddyfields!

But I'm telling you, this kind of view comes with a price as well. Oh yes, anything magical comes with awesome price. To get through this, I need to step on a high steep path. It is located in higher level, and it takes 5-minute walk of this....

Long walk... this is in the morning

And then this is how it looks at 6PM.

This path has no lights along the way. So from those two pics, you can imagine how it would look after 6.30PM. Once I came back at late around 6.45PM and it was all dark! I even asked my driver to walk me home. How embarrassing!

It's spooky for me, too!

It's all paddyfields and if you don't see clearly, you might get lost a little (to my stay, there's a soap house in the middle of the way and it's empty!), or fall down to the right side as it's lower land if you don't step right, quite steep down there and there was also rivers!

However, when I was walking back with my driver, another guest from the same villa just left to explore the city, without putting lights (like I did with my smartphone torch). My driver even joked me, "well, she's okay with this, and you're not?"

The nicest things about this 5-min walk to the middle of the paddyfields where my villa is located is that you can hear the sounds of water from the small river along the way. It's just relaxing, walking out every morning like that. With birds, chirping.

... even though, dragonflies and bees are also there. Meh!

Beware of mosquitos, too! Prepare some anti-mosquito lotion or electric mosquito repellent. Make it complete with tiger balm (I'm just too Chinese, I know) just in case if you've got bitten already, you know what to do.

Anyway, just have some Med-Kit with you, in the middle of nowhere and limited options of transportation, the only supermarket nearby is Bintang in Sanggingan, Coco in Pengosekan and some other in Raya Andong---which are in a bit crowded area. There are convenient stores nearby, yet, when it comes to emergency and you have to walk 5 mins out and in? Let alone, when it's dark. Thank you, next!

So there, during my stay here, I avoided coming home late. 6PM is the latest, before it's dark. I have balcony where I did yoga, breakfast, and dry my towel every morning... and it will be also dark there. No lights. So no chill time in the balcony with the sounds of crickets. No!

In this part of Ubud, you have to prepare for this kind of things. Dark, and no lights. If you're annoyed with this kind of situation like I am, you need to check on this. Some part of Ubud aren't like this, still feels like cities with cars passing by and city lights along the way.

Plus, there's another surprise... which is lizards, small and big ones. If you're okay with this, that's cool. But if you're a kind of freaking out to these kinds of visits, always make sure you stay in a place with closed windows and doors. Never leave the door and windows open too long. I know you'd be intrigued to do that once you see the beauty there, but remember, you're in the middle of paddyfields, which means all lizards and other unwelcomed insects are there.

The next morning after the driver walked me back, he picked me up. He texted me that he had arrived and warned me.


Ubud house styles have more peeking windows and all. Make sure you check the housing style, too. Too much, I know. If you might find those things disturbing, it'd better if you check. Those lizards can always sneak to your room.

And also, you have to make sure where exactly your place is gonna be. Whether you would need to walk long by foot or not, whether a car can pass. Why?

Most people in Ubud would love to travel by motorbike, or bike (the least). This kind of things would not be a problem for them. But, I have a condition where I cannot get on motorbike or bike (let alone to drive it, I can't), so I have to walk to enter paddyfield area in the middle of nowhere with only a long small path.

The problem is that I bring one heavy luggage, one sling bag, and another one handbag with laptop and yoga mat together inside it. Imagine bringing them all together with hiking a steep up and 5-min walk?

Travel around
Like what I have mentioned that Ubud people love to travel by motorbike, so that's how most visitors are likely to be suggested. It's quite easy to get motorbike taxi or to rent one.

If you travel with families or in group, rent a car would be great option. However, not many places in Ubud have lots of spots for parking. Get ready with that. Travel with driver would be better, so you can always drop off and let the local driver figures it out. Sounds selfish, but they know better where to park. *grin*

The benefit traveling with local driver is that they can always suggest you new places, stories about the cities and all, what's recommended, etc.

As for me, as I can't ride a bike or motorbike, or even just to hop on... it's a quite a struggle. I usually depend on GoCar in Jakarta, or GrabCar or Uber even when I was in in Europe or anywhere else. In Ubud, there's nothing like that. You have to go with a private taxi, which is a rental car that you could hail for one single trip. 

I found a nice driver on the streets. Lucky me! Turns out my journalist instinct is still there when it comes to a tricky situation. I was talking to security officers of UWRF about getting taxis and all as I was in panic and confused, then I searched around and I found one of them came up looking for one and brought me a guy that introduced himself as a part-time driver there. We exchanged phone numbers so I could order his taxi service via Whatsapp, which is nice and convenient. The rest of the story is that he took me everywhere when I was in Ubud and paid him for multiple single trips which cost much less than pay for a daily rent charge if you don't hop to many places in a day.

He didn't talk much but he was certainly helpful on information and even suggested me cool ice-cream place in Seminyak. (When I moved to Seminyak from Ubud---I told him beforehand that I had that idea---the night before, he texted me and asked whether I would need someone to drive me to Seminyak.)

The thing about Seminyak, there are still grabcars available. They can take you from Seminyak to Canggu, yet, once you're in Canggu, you cannot hail another Grabcar to go back to Seminyak or anywhere else. No online cabs would pick you up in Canggu, they see it too risky.

Grabcars and gojeks are not allowed in Bali, generally. But some are sneaky and lucky. Some sneaky, but unlucky.

However, Canggu and Seminyak are considered cities, unlike Ubud. Ubud is a village, different story. So you can find a public taxi in Canggu or Seminyak, like the one in purple cars or blue ones.

So there you go.


Food!
As you're in the middle of nowhere in Ubud, unlike Jakarta---where you can always search Go-Food or anywhere else with UberEats---we're back at the 90s, where you can only order directly from the restaurant.

My first food after one hour landed to my awesome stay was Bali Buda. They got vegan cakes, too (if it's what takes you to Ubud).

My first food in Ubud: Soto Ayam with Rice by Bali Buda Delivery + Soy Milk

And surprisingly, coz Ubud or Bali is small, the courier boy just arrived at your place fast. I even worried when I made the call, whether he knew the place. But there he was.. arriving on my balcony, right before I jumped to my outdoor bathtub.

Restaurants are there in crowded area, as in Raya Sanggingan, Monkey Forest, Raya Ubud, etc.

Awesome Indian Food in Raya Sanggingan from Mumbai Station

My second place to stay was around Monkey Forest area---the one that has lights along the way to the house. It's not so crowded, but many people pass by, so you're not gonna be alone even in the evening. So yeah, while staying here, I could hangout at night. Yeay!


I tried Bali's new sweetheart, Milk & Madu. It's also quite famous already in Canggu, and they just opened a new one in Ubud.

 

It was a bit hot but rain in Ubud when I was there. You can go to Gootama road where you could find Tukies Coconut Shop, it's also the place where I found Virgin Coconut Oil to make Coconut Oil Coffee (or Bulletproof Coffee). It's also walking distance to Kou Cuisine (homemade jam jars shop) in Monkey Forest.

Da-yummm!

NOTE FROM A NEWBIE SINGLE TRAVELER
1. I'm a proud cashless society member, but well... uh-puhlease, get some cash in hands while travelling. Trust me, it helps. Coz I only found one ATM in Raya Sanggingan, which is inside Bintang supermarket area. I didn't get the chance to spot anywhere else.

2. It's quite hot. It's Bali as we know it. I never remember to put on some sunblock cream and all, but guys, if you are also a kind of person like I am, please do this note. You won't regret it. I got sunburnt, not because of the beach, but when I was in Canggu, having brunch outdoors!

3.  If you forgot to bring any or already got sunburnt, find anything aloe vera gel (from Banana Boat, maybe) or real aloe vera. I was in the airport when I freaked out, so I went to Guardian while waiting for boarding call.

4. Hmm.. some places are a bit exhibitionist for me. Hahaha... not in the weird sense. But I went to spa place in Monkey Forest, where I cleaned up in a bathtub for relaxing and the window is soooo open and there's a cafe in the back, those visitors can actually see you naked from afar.

My bathtub spa window.. they can peek me!

Not all spa places are like this one, I think, for sure.

However, my outdoor bathtub... I could see some farmers doing their work in the afternoon while I'm wearing my bikini and spent time with my books. No worries, they don't care. Neither should you. Just relax and enjoy. (But to be honest, as I am a private person, I freaked out a little and still shocked to the fact how I could pass those moments).

And yes, Ubud has given me something. I had enough me time... and will definitely come back.

Seumur hidup nggak pernah terpikir untuk masak beras basmati, biryani dan kawan-kawannya. Bukan karena nggak suka, justru suka banget! Tapi baca-baca dan nonton video masaknya, wow that's expert level! I'm intimidated!

Yang udah dibeli, tapi belum dimasak. Betah di lemari.

Wait, whaaaat?

I'm okay they're more expensive, then... (if they maintain this treatment)

And yes, it DID a good start for me.

Then, one thing popped in my head was... why am I always stuck in the repetitive deep shit, the same problem, meeting the exactly the same kind of people and it happened to be worst?

Is it karma? Or, is it because of a sign that I shouldn't runaway? Even so, how should I face it?

After having a little clearer mind thanks for the psychologist visit, the solution came up. Just like that. Like a whisper.

I need to an extreme change. 

So I challenge myself to turn things around. Doing thing I never think I would do: decluttering. Throwing away all the things in the past, or the ones that should be in the trash bin. I started with things and people.

DECLUTTERING TO KONMARI
This revelation came up like a ping from your doorbell. And maybe because I also watch Baby Cobra... therefore I can thank Ali Wong for sharing her read "The Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo". (Watch her on Netflix, please! She's the real feminist!)

As I've been a kind of a person who would decorate her own room with lots of random kinds of stuff being displayed, it's a big start to put a magic in my room into minimalism. But I also developed a habit where I kept unused stuffs, even a packaging of emptied sweets, or skincare I didn't like or I stop using for no reasons. Plus, unused makeups!

It took two huge plastic bags just to pack those skin care and makeups out of my room! There, I also found unused Bluetooth keyboard and stacks of old clothes I never wanted to wear---and some clothes I decided not to re-wear again. I sold those good things online and got the money to buy new clothes to give more color in my wardrobe as most remaining are black or grey.

Turns out that there's a logical explanation why you'd need more space in my room and not being crowded with things, no matter how much you like those things... you need space. Your eyes need to see some 'breathing space'.


Trying advice to do Konmari for living is like another angel's whispers for me. It popped in my head when my head told me to do extreme change and fvck everything to get myself in control. Result: not that bad! I'm happier. I felt relieve.

My first attempt to KonMari method. Exactly a year ago.

And trust me, it's not easy. As hoarding is a form of my depression, I cried a lot, like crazy, just to get things that are not gonna be used... out of my room. I always feel like those stuffs should be there to keep things that I'm okay with in life to stay put... like in feng shui. And I believe those things contain memories I never want to forget and efforts to appreciate. That's why, it's harder to let them go.

But since the revelations came, I kept telling myself, 'you need to do what you've never done before. Just fuck it! Start new!'

And I have more spaces now to breathe. Those hard feelings and pain are gone with those things I let go. That involved crying a lot while putting those things into the trash bags.

That also means, some books and toys will be in boxes to make it look neater.  How long does it take for my room only? Two months!


I also declutter people. I've relooked how I've been treated, misunderstood and all. Sometimes, you need to stand up cold to those people who look for you when they need you and don't care if you're busy, sick, in trouble... or sleepy (I can get text from people asking for attention at 2AM or 4AM).

These people are toxic. Once you know people don't really care about you as much you do, leave them. Build walls and distance. That's for the best. Don't waste your time and energy. I've been a sincere person and I don't see it a good thing to do.

Choose to whom you should be sincere, not everyone deserves it.

SLEEP
Technically when you sleep, your body will manage your metabolism (repair the broken cells, and some source say you can get flatter tummy if you have much enough sleep). During sleep, your body will produce serotonin to maintain your mood and all. However, you need to make sure, it's a good deep quality sleep.

Try caffeine nap! Drink coffee and take a power nap for 15 mins when you can. It also boost productivity, if you're like me who are into doing so many things at the same time.

And, during those depressed times, I get sleepy a lot. My psychologist said, it's the way my body cope with the situation I'm having, so my body can recover and go on.

I can't just sleep away like that of course, that's why it's getting worse and worse as I can't have much sleep. So now, yeah I'm recovering... slowly.


RELAYOUT YOUR ROOM
Continuing the previous bullet... and as I have told you that I believe in feng shui and all, I got the revelation that I really need to change the layout. So, within a night, I bought a new desk, cupboars and create another book corner.




DO SOMETHING NEW, FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE
As much as I love challenges, but when my mood drops, it's not easy to be that positive to accept new things or push yourself doing something you never know before.

That leads me into thinking to learn how to swim! Another thing that leads me to swim was my doctor's suggestion that I shouldn't take any exercise due to my low back pain and past left arm fracture... but I can't swim... and I wanted to do exercise, at least 5K running but I wasn't allowed until I got into physiotherapy or swim.

During the time, I randomly take single classes, like tea classes, baking classes, flower arrangement, or online classes. Anything that fits my schedule and my budget.

After I regain control of my life, as I move to another work place, finally I can continue my long lost Counter-Terrorism Studies class!

And the rose gold is suddenly my favorite that boosts my mood!

I tried everything new... celebrating each of my new firsts in my life. When it's closer to the time I would start, I'd ask, "What am I doing here? I shouldn't have!" But I pushed myself... after going through it, no matter I like it or not, I love it. I love how I am exposed to new things.

And yeah, guessed, my shrink visit DID a good start for me.

Something new is also including... talking to strangers and their dogs and be friends with them after knowing it's safe to spend time with them further! Then you realize the world is indeed small.

Start small? Try watching movies in Netflix, new movies (coz I do have tendencies to keep watching movies I've watched 1000 times), and break your algorithm! I made a highlight on my Instagram about movie list that could expose you to something new. That just feels so great!


EXERCISE
I know I'm kinda lucky as I'm supported by the office to get new sportwear, gym membership and all. But I also tried to exercise daily at home, using my S-Health in Samsung Galaxy smartphone. They have program for you to try and it's managable. Totally cool, but some exercise program would need you to get some dumbells. Maybe you can replace it with water bottles?

I just told you that I'm not allowed to do exercise by doc. After tried the gentle ones, low to medium intensity, like Yoga, Pilates, Barre, and TRX Yoga. Logically, anything you exercise, your body will create endorphines which will stabilize your mood and overall body process.

I was in Ubud a few days ago. I stayed in an awesome secluded place, a total hidden gem among ricefields. The air was fresh enough for me to breathe all I can. I decided to bring my Yoga mat and workout clothes. No regret! I think would be great if you can travel, too. Alone.




EAT HEALTHY


Well, I love cooking!

However, I also start to think what I eat to gain balance. As mood swing can be caused by PMS and unbalance nutrition. This trick, at least, can reduce your sufferings.

For example, I reduce eating white rice or anything wheat and too flour-y. Less fried foods. Yet, for me, I still eat naughty, let's call it cheating, but that makes you happy. Just don't make it a habit, though. I'm not into something extreme like crazy... like I said, we need balance. So I'm calling peanut butter chocolate, fried noodles, and the gangs!

I start to eat veggies, too. Well this one also goes to TRYING SOMETHING NEW. Coz I never like veggies unless spinach rice with ginger. Even I eat banana now, even though only small portion. Mixing granola is new hobby.

Cooking nuisance is also a therapy.

That's the reason why I like listening to people cooking on YouTube (those videos where the host isn't talking too much).


Maybe these things aren't changing the fact that people harm you that deep. Maybe these things cannot fix how your brain processes the situation you're struggling in.

It's been ups and downs for me. But I've decided to reclaim myself and my life. Get myself on track. Learning the essence of 'keep moving'. Get myself in control.

All those cries in the night... those anger... that sadness.... those disappointments, might not go away just like that. But, at least, it keeps you going.

The full TV ad version found on YouTube

It's a sign...

Maybe for you, it's a merely coincidence
But when I got nowhere to look up to
Universe is the only I can seek truth from
Universe is the only language I can speak

... when you no longer speak
I choose to hear life as it speaks to me...
to leave.
to survive.

Such life phase might have been represented very well in her newly developed TV series called 'Aggretsuko' with its 10-episodes-long on Netflix for the first season. At least, that's as much as I see it. Her stories makes me feel like it starts and follows us through, while her white-blank page character develops along the bitter reality it serves one by one to reach certain point in her career life. Bluntly and unmasked---but still Sanrio way.

Retsuko started off her career with nothing but passion for the so-called 'real world'. Turned out, being a responsible citizen by having a steady job and pay taxes wasn't the point of everything. Sometimes, it's about what you do that makes you a whole and whom you work with that shapes who you are. Well, in 'Aggretsuko' case, mostly it is. 

Her passion developed into focusing on fulfilling what society and others expect you to be, which won't answer anything, but to become burdens when those common barriers in office do exist. At this point, I feel like, 'oh finally somebody is speaking out what I'm thinking!' 

Learning from Retsuko, it's time for us to review all the points of what it takes to be a good employee, including what's also good for us despite our responsibility for the profession and the company we work for. The show tells us that we have to have the urge to speak up when somebody is pushing all the norms of becoming good employee while they don't do the same. Fair play, guys! It's important. It's time to ask ourselves, 'Have I been a team player? Have they been team players as well?' 

So yeah, you have the rights to review and re-think anything you're into. And you have to!

Knowing When Breaking the Limit Means Breaking Your Own Good
Aggretsuko portrayed a real depiction of reality we might have in our work life. Everyday, Retsuko faced what most of us would face in the office in general, such as rumor spreader coworkers, irresponsible supervisors, lack of leadership skill bosses, and arrogant seniors. Those result in unbalance workload, unfair treatment, questionable job assignment (regularly making your boss tea? tidying up his desk?) to daily insult and harassment. 

It has been the problem for Retsuko as she's junior, lack of experience and total plain person that has no idea to survive in the middle of competition with fake and ass-licking culture. All she knows later on that she's neglecting her own happiness in order to keep on going. 

On top of everything, what bothers her most is her work load. But let's put it this way: life is unfair. And if we follow it all to let that just happen, instead of making it better for our own good, you might learn a hard way to accept it. 

Some seniors might say to you, "I give you this much load so that you will grow and have more experience than anyone else." This might be beneficial to you, I can see it's a chance. But certain kind of seniors only use this as an excuse, because they simply don't like you (impatiently looking for your probable mistakes due to overwhelmed situation) or because you seem more reliable than your peers. It could be giving you more work means giving themselves less headache (as they will handle lesser mistakes from your less reliable teammates). Due to the latest trending work method, bosses have less time to grow their team, as well as to grow themselves into better leader.

It makes things more interesting that the show appears amidst plenty of media exposures of Japanese hardworking yet unhealthy career life (karoshi) which attract global attention these past years. It's more than rumors gangs, seniority, etc... but the wrong way of work.

...working on weekends for weeks non-stop, too.... ok, I'll stop.

Sometimes, we forgot to think through wisely and further when we're drained by such situation. I know it's awesome to dedicate yourself for work, company and industry that brings up the economy. Thinking how huge contribution you give, but you got to know that... the world and yourself is much bigger than that. You just need to give yourself a chance to grow more instead of doing the same struggle. Because, maybe it's not you... it's them.

When it's too much for you to handle, time to review all this: Are you being groomed into someone more awesome or are you being tricked deeper into some miserable company culture?

Yes, there's a such thing called exploitation.

When it's too much, really too much to handle after you tried hard for so long and nothing happens for good, just remember, you need your sanity, physical health and time for more exciting things ahead. Don't spend it to cover some incapable leaders' faces which also benefit your temporarily.

It's ok when you've tried enough, nothing happens, and you're no longer ok with that.


What to Expect When You're Expecting the Awesome Beginning
So basically, what makes work unhealthy that we have to figure out how to deal with it?

Ok, you, first-jobbers... you might celebrate those finish line you've reached by partying hard, because I don't know whether you can still do that or not in... 'reality'. Why?



Lemme prepare you. As someone with burning passion after graduation like Retsuko, so ready to have real job experience, first thing first... never expect too high. What you do at first might not always be high-risk job that seems very interesting or cool from afar. Your superiors might let you do small stuffs and count on you for those things they are lazy to do... besides, they want to look cooler than you by having someone working on the dirty laundry for them. Get that well. It's okay. Remember: this too shall pass. Let's call this one as: first fact.

However, those small stuffs you did well or extra mile might give your credit for reliability level. Gain more trust from small stuffs. Shall you not underestimate it those small stuffs. Sometimes, you have to sweat them out for good.

Secondly, when worse things go worst, here's a useful note: I've learned that some leaders are actually lucky for the positions they have. Sorry. Just being truthful. So, they are basically unable to grow you into a better person and/or a better professionals. You might recount all impactful contributions you have delivered for the company, for yourself and for the profession you hold dear. If you haven't improved by 3 - 6 months, then you might suspect that things will be the same as it is in the next one, you know you have to choose to grow somewhere else instead of being in a comfort zone (read: a battlefield you're already familiar with, even though it's comfort at all).

In my experience, I met people who are proudly saying to me for having work in the same place for 5-7 years (some, for the same position). Turned out, their department didn't have Standard Operating Procedures (then I was the one who established the SOP design). When I deliver new fresh ideas, they seemed to be reluctant, too. Worse, as they said they knew the company in details for years they have spent there, I proved they knew nothing (like Jon Snow), about what they're doing and how their profession can be in bigger picture. Worst, they worked so slowly, no matter they said they were fluent in doing their day-to-day jobs. 

So, for years, they learned slowly and small. Seriously, don't be that kind of person. Always expect to be the game changer. If the company resists, well, you're too good to be there. In fact, I spent only a year and left. That was the best decision I've ever made, no matter how complicated I felt about leaving all the company's benefits and facilities. Note to myself: I should have left sooner than that.

I know some of my peers who are also tricked by flowery words of what's coming their ways after the hard work they deliver and how huge the game they're controlling to boost their pride about their jobs. As result, they work hard and harder. Sacrificing all the work-life balance. 


Those who trick them usually bombarded them with a certain kind of 'motivations', such as getting publicity, winning an award, invitations/offers to become speakers, and other appearances to be get acknowledged by mass layer of audiences, as sets of benchmark of success. I'm telling you, those glittery side of being well-known as expert (or anything) are not false, but they're not real. Once you grow up, you'll know adults can be a real Oscar-winning-level actors to gain such things.

I'm not saying for you to become cynical or pessimistic, but to become realistic and cautious. You need to stay alert.

Number one clue: 

First face

Second face

Anyway, what could become the daily problem? 

However, Tsubone is right, we need to build up the muscles, but it should not be too much about it. Anything too much is never good. At the beginning, build it up is cool... then maintaining is another story, another way. 

If you stay with the same obstacles, doing the same thing all over again, you might lose yourself while you don't learn anything new and more. Once you realize it, the world around you might have shifted too far that you don't recognize anymore. Yes, you will learn so much the very details in dealing with incapable peers and superiors within weak system. But, is it all about it? Of course not. You are more capable (and you should) than you think to deal with more challenges ahead which would mark a legacy. Change is a consistent nature, you need to balance yourself in adapting to its roll.


Release the Pain Gradually
Ok, you might want to wait a little bit more... with possibility that things might change. Here's a useful tip from Retsuko.

Unlike other dreamy and usual cutesy Sanrio characters, Aggretsuko (Aggresive Retsuko) has brought another representation of both sweet and feminine power. The story line also strongly shows how dominant masculine culture rules workplace and how it collides with person with different vibe. To keep up with daily anger she had, she secretly went to a karaoke place to let it out through heavy metal songs....  even for me, a Sanrio fans (with enormous anger still left inside), it's rather unexpected.

Hi, I'm still Sanrio's mascot, okay? Don't forget me just yet....

Ok, we all have our own way to release pain (and we have to release that pain). This 'Aggretsuko' show is a reminder that we shouldn't judge or be judged of our own power and how we deal with things, too (as long as we don't harm ourselves and others during the process, right?) 

However, this also reminds me when I was in college, in class we discussed a lot about Japanese workplace habits, such as punching bags prepared in a break room for employees to release their stress for treatments and pressures they got from their superiors. Well, I didn't see that in 'Aggretsuko' though, yet all I enjoyed was the after-work scenes where she went to karaoke place by herself.

Anyway... when things get heated up, sometimes being angry is a must. I mean, you have to speak up as many people are just too senseless to understand what you're into. Obsession of being reliable and responsible in reward of manipulation isn't an equal give and take.

If that doesn't work, you can always try Retsuko's way. Not exactly a heavy metal karaoke, you can always try something you like... and it must not always the same. Up to you! Your life, your control, you are welcome to change your habit anytime you feel like it.

The TV show might say a lot of Japanese culture, but it doesn't mean we can't relate to Retsuko's condition. From the whole bigger picture of company culture to her stages of personality. From being a passionate worker, responsible citizen to financially struggle young employee and desperation to get married in order to quitting work. 

Even so, marriage is undoubtedly becoming temptation. However, she's lucky to be warned by Washimi, the fierce eagle Yoga buddy, who can be the example for all career women. Retsuko's love story gave her a lesson: it shouldn't be distraction escape for your troublesome career life.

Another story often happens for female workers though. As leadership mostly dominated by men, there is certain unwritten expectation to female workers. Such as being easy, nice, smiley and always ready and receptive to be humiliated. I've mentioned earlier that Retsuko's alterego brings up the issue of what might seem to be two clashing personalities: being herself and being what people expect her to be. It's about time the two can't hide to collide.

... and it's okay.

Anyway, the point is... the show 'ruins' my so-so expectation as it has more entertaining bits with an unmasked intense bitterness of reality with comedy and it shocks me a little with the heavy metal thingy Retsuko is attached to as her secret power, which is for me it's a new trend way of release pain. Ha! Blunt twist, I like that.



What Sanrio is Up to?

But, once we got in that career life jungle, we would think of vacation and leave for awhile as a 'dream'. Because when we have to go back, we'd say, "go back to reality". Umm, it seems like 'reality' is another stop in life to visit. Now, your choice.


(all GIFs sourced from giphy.com and photos from Netflix)